Last week was the starting of my real project.
It started by my advisor talked to my partner when I was there but she try to keep me out of that conversation just because she forgot me?!?! Should it be like that? (That's 1st time, it's ok)
But suddenly she just remember me! Not so happy, but better than she had no memory of me.
From the conversation, i can conclude that my project had research fund from somewhere and i have to work harder!!! Not only my normally busy day, but it will be much more busy... How can i take that?
A week or more days later, it seem like i have to started working on this project.
I remembered that it's friday and my partner have class in the afternoon, so i have to be with the advisor 2-2 to learn how to do the project. All the time that we were together, i did ask a lot of questions, not only the big one but also the little things too. It made my advisor so unhappy. So she told me that "You did ask me too much, and i'm not happy that you don't think anything by yourself". She didn't know or didn't care, i don't know, but at that time, her words made me so shocked and feel so blank. Just speechless. I did dissapoint my advisor since the beginning. and how about later!?!? then she left me to continue the project alone. It made me wanna cry right ther! Her words made me blame myself for few hours and not getting better. Soon my partner finished her class and came to me and my advisor came too. We 3 were there not so long, advisor asked me to bring more glassware from 18th floor. After i left there, my partner told me that advisor try to ask her how was i doing lab, of course, she didn't know cuz we never be lab's partner. Soon I came back and finished project together. At the end before we seperated, my advisor tried to tell me that what she just told me lately, her intention is to teach me like teacher teach student.....(I'm not so sure that her words or her voice that make me feel like it's not same meaning with her intention.) This is the 1st day....so tired....
Next week begin with doing project and loads of daily works, so exhausted but i'm not gonna mension it :)
On Friday, i and my partner met advisor for our seminar....again she try to keep me away,this was the 2nd time. (It shouldn't be like that? At the first time it's ok cuz i did change a lot from last semester. But what is the 2nd time!!!!)
Today, i went to collect the product and do more. I told my partner last night that i'll do it today. She didn't tell me anything so i thought she was ok with it. But after i finished today, i called her and tell her don't forget tomorrow, she said "OK".
After that call about an hour, she sent the message from BBM that why i didn't answer/call back?
The simplest and truely is "I just slept."
She asked more "Why i didn't call before that?"
I answered "I went home late."
I don't know how she was feeling right then, but she sent back "Just a minute, can't you call me"
I'm so shocked cuz she's never been like this!! We used to be anything person. She used to be tell me that she's not happy with what i decided which i'm ok to adjust to please us.
But today, what's happened with her or she just be herself? So don't understand. If she didn't OK why she didn't tell me. There's a lot of ways to contact me, ie. BBM, FB, message just choose 1, she knows that if she left me a message i'll do what she want or maybe call back her! But she did nothing....i don't know what she wants from me??????
How do i know????
I knew that it's my fault for not call her back, but what about her!! did she left anything to show me that she wants to go home this sunday or she wants her time on sunday.....NOTHING.
Only the advisor, she made me unhappy it's not enough right!? The partner will make me double unhappy!!!
Maybe i should go to any temple and make merit!!!
This time is worse than before.....How long can i take this? Please, Please, Please anyone fastforward this time.... I don't want to be here anymore :'(
I need the old time back, really!!!!!
